Each step corresponds with an illustration. Follow them clockwise. Click on the image to enlarge.
- Do not explain exactly what you expect. This works particularly well when you don't even know what you exactly want.
- Do not listen to the customer what they want. You did so many similar projects, you probably know better what the customer wants. Don't you?
- Create a design based on the first conversation with the customer. Keep it high level, and whatever you do, don't show the design to your customer for feedback. They might want to change it.
- Give a high level design to your programmers, and don't ask for prototypes or meetings in between. Just let them work, until they say they are finished.
- Describe your solution as the one that does it all. No restrictions, you have thought about anything. It is just perfect.
- Documentation is for sissies. The solution is so easy to use that the customer doesn't need any manuals, and the code is so good that it is self explaining.
- Let your programmers dump the solution on a CD, give it to operations and let them install it at the customer. Again, it is all self explaining.
- Bill the customer for everything you intended to do, every single dream you had about them, and every single copy you had to make of your imaginary documentation. You know your solution is worth every penny of it.
- Your solution is perfect, so their is no need for support. It works out of the box.
- Because there is nothing on paper, and everybody had different ideas you can now start a lawsuit over the fact that the customer is not willing to pay for your perfect solution.
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